Thinking your girlfriend is physically attracted to you. PGP.

Watching Spongebob with my nephew and exclusively identifying with Squidward. PGP.

Ate a brownie. Unknowingly smeared brownie residue on a report. Get called into HR to discuss “the importance of washing my hands after leaving the restrooms.” PGP.

“Have a safe 4th of July weekend!” Don’t tell me how to live my life. PGP.

Everyone in the office has been losing their shit over how awesome the newly installed Dyson Blade hand-dryers are. PGP.

Going into empty conference rooms to rip farts. PGP.

If one more person tells me “Happy Fiscal New Year,” boy, I am just going to lose it. PGP.

Living life one quarter at a time. PGP.

Randomly typing on your keyboard whenever you see a manager about to walk by. PGP.

Passing on the donuts as they go around the conference room, but binge eating them alone in the file room. PGP.