My coworker responds “roger that” in a group text with my boss. PGP.

Holding in jokes that would probably get you fired. PGP.

A girl in my office had “fell down the stairs and bruised her elbow” last week so she worked from home. Today, she “fell on the street and bruised her knee”, so now she’s working from home. PGP.

Fantasizing about dual monitors. PGP.

I die a little inside every time I have to eat oatmeal for breakfast in the office. PGP.

Spent Saturday night eating sushi alone on the couch. My friends got engaged. PGP.

“We’ve reviewed your application and…” No, you haven’t. PGP.

Font is getting smaller and smaller. I’m considering buying a pair of reading glasses. PGP.

Everyone in my department calls me “kid” and I’m 27. PGP.

Never in my life needed TUMS until today. PGP.