Please write a column ranking your top five or ten cookies/cookie brands. I’ve been in search of a new sweet in which to partake post-dinner, and I would very much appreciate your insight regarding this matter.
As someone with shitty hair, I just want you to know that I appreciate that you appreciate your good hair. Really, I do. I oftentimes think a lot of dudes who came out a winner in the genetic lottery don’t fully comprehend the gift they’ve been given.
Having to deal with shitty hair really sucks. A lot of guys can seriously rock the totally bald-full beard look, but there’s an abundance of us who can’t and so we’re stuck trying to do *something* with our hair to at least get by. I have to stop in the bathroom every morning before work and any time I leave and come back because the slightest gust of wind – I’m talkin’ even so much as the whiff created when opening a closed door – is enough to cause my hair to lose all form and make me look like a goddamn maniac.
Oh, and the sick irony of it all? The constant worrying and stressing about how my hair looks during a client meeting or first date or whatever only results in more hair loss. Thanks, God!
And lastly, for everyone who says “just own it; confidence is way more attractive than looks!”, well you can just fuck right off. I appreciate the encouragement but blatant lies help nobody.
The good news (about distinguishing native/#sponsored content from the rest) is that the FTC has set forth clear-cut rules regarding proper disclosure of paid content. (See .com Disclosures – FTC March 2013)
The bad news is too many folks either don’t know the tell-tale signs to look for or just don’t care that the content they’re consuming was created with the purpose of swaying them to buy something or think a certain way.
It’s also worth noting that the amount of daily exercise your dog needs varies by breed. A Golden Retriever, for example, needs less exercise than a Border Collie.
Certain dogs can certainly do well in apartments, but there are some that may require a bit more attention throughout the day and thus have a more difficult time in confined spaces.
“However, if you think Gary Vaynerchuk is in any business other than the Gary Vaynerchuk business, you are sorely mistaken.”
Vaynerchuk’s doesn’t put out all of his quote-“motivational” content because he gives a shit about you or me or she — he only does it to leverage the Vaynerchuk brand. His content is best described as a mile wide and an inch deep, yet the masses gobble up his garbage because it makes them feel like they’re not procrastinating when that’s exactly what they’re doing.
Advertising/Marketing/PR professionals are some of the most self-important people out there. Many honestly believe they’re somehow changing the world for the better, especially on the creative side, by “giving a voice to the downtrodden people of America” or some bullshit.
One of my colleagues – an individual who epitomizes the very worst of the millennial stereotype – thinks he’s waging a war against the elites or social conservatives or some other imaginary baddie.
Hey, asshole, you’re writing banner copy for a managed IT solutions provider that targets SMBs owned by Baby Boomers who don’t know any better — you’re not the hero, you’re the bad guy. How about showing up before 10 AM some day? And instead of bingeing Sex in the City at your desk “while your creative juices get warmed up,” why not do something worthy of a paycheck?
Season 7 was, overall, disappointing for several reasons, and I’m on board with most of your points.
However, it’s your 2nd point that I disagree with. We saw Littlefinger die and we also so the death of Reek/return of Theon (figurative as it may have been). And Jaime was essentially sentenced to death, same as the Mountain (“You know who’s coming for you.” – Clegane).
Most importantly, though, we witnessed the death of innocence and virtue as we all celebrated that steamy Targaryen aunt-on-nephew incestuous action.
My significant other and I both work in advertising – me in creative, her in account services – and the amount of bitching I hear from her and my colleagues is unreal. IMO, this is one of the consequences of working in easily one of the most circle-jerky professional industries there is. No other industry has as many awards and trade publications as advertising, and the only purpose of these is to feed everyone’s egos while sustaining everyone’s false perception that our job is sooo haaaaard :'(
It reminds me of the people in college who would spend hours upon hours in the library “studying” for exams, except they’re spending more time tweeting and texting and posting about how stressed they are from studying than they do *actually* studying.
I run outside so I can use MapMyRun to track my progress, to take in some fresh air, and to allow my dog to run alongside me for some exercise — none of these things of which are possible on a treadmill.
You think I run outside because I like showing off my pattern baldness and how out of shape I am? You’re wrong.
You don’t need unsolicited tips from a complete stranger on the internet. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to offer what I can based on personal experience that seems closely related to what you’re dealing with now:
• Make a conscious effort to eliminate negative influences in your life. Yeah, I know this sounds like a bunch of hippy-dippy bullshit, but it’s been scientifically proven that distancing ourselves from these things has a significant impact on our mental health. This includes outside influences such as social media, “stuff” (material things old & new), friends/family/colleagues, our work environment, and everything else we feel compelled to go along with that doesn’t contribute to our overall happiness.
• Talk to people about how you’re feeling, even when you know there’s nothing concrete they can do to help. (Sounds like you’ve already got this one in the bag and I’d like to encourage you to continue this trend.)
• Diet and exercise — I’m not talking about getting swole, just making a concerted effort to get your blood flowing, spending enough time with our friend The Sun, and eliminating junk/sugary foods from your diet. Contrary to what some radically traditional Gen X-ers believe, our brain – which, if you didn’t know, is responsible for facilitating our emotions – is influenced by the presence (or absence) of a handful of different neurochemicals, each of which has a very specific role to play. Maintaining a proper balance of these organic molecules and peptides is essential to achieving high-quality mental health, and their existence relies entirely on the ways in which we fuel our body.
You and I will never meet IRL. We’ll never be friends or even shoot the shit over a cold beer. But, for what it’s worth, I do hope you’re able to get out of this hole, and that one day in the near future you’ll look back on this season of your life and be glad to have moved on from it. Mental health is extremely important to me, and I wish it was taken more seriously by the general population. You’re not a “pussy” for bringing it up or feeling this way, and anyone who thinks you are is clearly too afraid to confront their own personal demons.
Kudos to you for confronting the issue head-on rather than brushing it aside out of fear of being judged by your peers.
> …convince yourself that your house is haunted and hire ghost hunters to conduct a proper investigation.
“No ghosts, eh? Well, I just had to be sure. Oh, hey, I just stocked the kegerator with the summer ale from that new microbrewery south of town — you guys wanna chill? Maybe power up the Switch and get in a few rounds of Mario Kart action on my 72-inch curved 4K ultra HD TV? Please don’t leave. I’m not sure I can handle another night of being alone.”
I’ve never understood why anyone would be rude to the people responsible for handling your food, even if s/he is doing a poor job of it. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.
Advertise
Hey it’s me, the guy who went to see Annihilation by himself.
Dear Cookie Man,
Please write a column ranking your top five or ten cookies/cookie brands. I’ve been in search of a new sweet in which to partake post-dinner, and I would very much appreciate your insight regarding this matter.
Regards,
An Interested Party
As someone with shitty hair, I just want you to know that I appreciate that you appreciate your good hair. Really, I do. I oftentimes think a lot of dudes who came out a winner in the genetic lottery don’t fully comprehend the gift they’ve been given.
Having to deal with shitty hair really sucks. A lot of guys can seriously rock the totally bald-full beard look, but there’s an abundance of us who can’t and so we’re stuck trying to do *something* with our hair to at least get by. I have to stop in the bathroom every morning before work and any time I leave and come back because the slightest gust of wind – I’m talkin’ even so much as the whiff created when opening a closed door – is enough to cause my hair to lose all form and make me look like a goddamn maniac.
Oh, and the sick irony of it all? The constant worrying and stressing about how my hair looks during a client meeting or first date or whatever only results in more hair loss. Thanks, God!
And lastly, for everyone who says “just own it; confidence is way more attractive than looks!”, well you can just fuck right off. I appreciate the encouragement but blatant lies help nobody.
The good news (about distinguishing native/#sponsored content from the rest) is that the FTC has set forth clear-cut rules regarding proper disclosure of paid content. (See .com Disclosures – FTC March 2013)
The bad news is too many folks either don’t know the tell-tale signs to look for or just don’t care that the content they’re consuming was created with the purpose of swaying them to buy something or think a certain way.
It’s also worth noting that the amount of daily exercise your dog needs varies by breed. A Golden Retriever, for example, needs less exercise than a Border Collie.
Certain dogs can certainly do well in apartments, but there are some that may require a bit more attention throughout the day and thus have a more difficult time in confined spaces.
Brian, my dude, you said it best right here:
“However, if you think Gary Vaynerchuk is in any business other than the Gary Vaynerchuk business, you are sorely mistaken.”
Vaynerchuk’s doesn’t put out all of his quote-“motivational” content because he gives a shit about you or me or she — he only does it to leverage the Vaynerchuk brand. His content is best described as a mile wide and an inch deep, yet the masses gobble up his garbage because it makes them feel like they’re not procrastinating when that’s exactly what they’re doing.
Who else but Duda could write an 840-word column about chicken tendies and freedom fries?
As a fellow Texan, I sincerely thank you for your service.
Advertising/Marketing/PR professionals are some of the most self-important people out there. Many honestly believe they’re somehow changing the world for the better, especially on the creative side, by “giving a voice to the downtrodden people of America” or some bullshit.
One of my colleagues – an individual who epitomizes the very worst of the millennial stereotype – thinks he’s waging a war against the elites or social conservatives or some other imaginary baddie.
Hey, asshole, you’re writing banner copy for a managed IT solutions provider that targets SMBs owned by Baby Boomers who don’t know any better — you’re not the hero, you’re the bad guy. How about showing up before 10 AM some day? And instead of bingeing Sex in the City at your desk “while your creative juices get warmed up,” why not do something worthy of a paycheck?
/rant
Season 7 was, overall, disappointing for several reasons, and I’m on board with most of your points.
However, it’s your 2nd point that I disagree with. We saw Littlefinger die and we also so the death of Reek/return of Theon (figurative as it may have been). And Jaime was essentially sentenced to death, same as the Mountain (“You know who’s coming for you.” – Clegane).
Most importantly, though, we witnessed the death of innocence and virtue as we all celebrated that steamy Targaryen aunt-on-nephew incestuous action.
My significant other and I both work in advertising – me in creative, her in account services – and the amount of bitching I hear from her and my colleagues is unreal. IMO, this is one of the consequences of working in easily one of the most circle-jerky professional industries there is. No other industry has as many awards and trade publications as advertising, and the only purpose of these is to feed everyone’s egos while sustaining everyone’s false perception that our job is sooo haaaaard :'(
It reminds me of the people in college who would spend hours upon hours in the library “studying” for exams, except they’re spending more time tweeting and texting and posting about how stressed they are from studying than they do *actually* studying.
But what if your team is featured in the SNF matchup?
I run outside so I can use MapMyRun to track my progress, to take in some fresh air, and to allow my dog to run alongside me for some exercise — none of these things of which are possible on a treadmill.
You think I run outside because I like showing off my pattern baldness and how out of shape I am? You’re wrong.
You don’t need unsolicited tips from a complete stranger on the internet. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to offer what I can based on personal experience that seems closely related to what you’re dealing with now:
• Make a conscious effort to eliminate negative influences in your life. Yeah, I know this sounds like a bunch of hippy-dippy bullshit, but it’s been scientifically proven that distancing ourselves from these things has a significant impact on our mental health. This includes outside influences such as social media, “stuff” (material things old & new), friends/family/colleagues, our work environment, and everything else we feel compelled to go along with that doesn’t contribute to our overall happiness.
• Talk to people about how you’re feeling, even when you know there’s nothing concrete they can do to help. (Sounds like you’ve already got this one in the bag and I’d like to encourage you to continue this trend.)
• Diet and exercise — I’m not talking about getting swole, just making a concerted effort to get your blood flowing, spending enough time with our friend The Sun, and eliminating junk/sugary foods from your diet. Contrary to what some radically traditional Gen X-ers believe, our brain – which, if you didn’t know, is responsible for facilitating our emotions – is influenced by the presence (or absence) of a handful of different neurochemicals, each of which has a very specific role to play. Maintaining a proper balance of these organic molecules and peptides is essential to achieving high-quality mental health, and their existence relies entirely on the ways in which we fuel our body.
You and I will never meet IRL. We’ll never be friends or even shoot the shit over a cold beer. But, for what it’s worth, I do hope you’re able to get out of this hole, and that one day in the near future you’ll look back on this season of your life and be glad to have moved on from it. Mental health is extremely important to me, and I wish it was taken more seriously by the general population. You’re not a “pussy” for bringing it up or feeling this way, and anyone who thinks you are is clearly too afraid to confront their own personal demons.
Kudos to you for confronting the issue head-on rather than brushing it aside out of fear of being judged by your peers.
So everyone gets not one but *two* staplers? Talk about work perks.
Prime Day is great if you’re in the market for aftermarket A/V cables or a two-pack of double sided tape.
> …convince yourself that your house is haunted and hire ghost hunters to conduct a proper investigation.
“No ghosts, eh? Well, I just had to be sure. Oh, hey, I just stocked the kegerator with the summer ale from that new microbrewery south of town — you guys wanna chill? Maybe power up the Switch and get in a few rounds of Mario Kart action on my 72-inch curved 4K ultra HD TV? Please don’t leave. I’m not sure I can handle another night of being alone.”
I’ve never understood why anyone would be rude to the people responsible for handling your food, even if s/he is doing a poor job of it. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.
and Macron (Emmanuel,)
Did you know some people even buy Tupperware that doesn’t come with some kind of deli meat?