Your 5 Friends Who Complain The Most About Their Jobs

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We’re all a bunch of whiners when it comes to our jobs. However, there are certain friends of yours that take that complaining to a whole other level. You know who I’m talking about. The friend who talks about his overbearing boss throughout the entire meaningless pre-season NFL game you’re trying to watch. The girl that stresses you out with her spiel about the 60-hour week she just worked while you’re trying to talk about last night’s slutty escapades at brunch. Strangely enough, it seems like these friends always have the same kind of jobs, and frankly, a lot of the complaining seems unnecessary. Let’s break it down.

The Teacher

Oh my god, teachers. We get it. You’re criminally underpaid, you work way longer hours than the school day, and kids are a nightmare. Yes, that sucks, but that’s also all information I knew well before I entered college. You chose to be a teacher because you probably love kids or something. You made your own bed, so stop bitching about lying in it. Also, if you teach grade school, you’ve got to stop complaining about how hard it is. No one believes you. Is creating a lesson plan for each day time consuming? Yes. But is the actual material hard? Of course not; we all learned it when we were kids.

Hell, even I was a straight-A student up until high school, and I’m a known slacker. Sure, babysitting a bunch of kids (or even worse, teenagers) sounds like my worst nightmare, but that’s why I chose a profession where I never interact with them. Plus, you get three fucking months of vacation. Yes, there are hard aspects of your job, but none of them will make me feel bad for you when you work literally 25% less of the year than I do.

The Advertising/PR person

I work in this industry and I still don’t understand the constant need for bitching. Yes, the hours can be extremely long. Like, “bring a sleeping bag to the office for a few days” long. And I would be fine with all the complaining if it only happened during these extreme crunch times. But it doesn’t. Talk to someone from an ad or PR agency, and you’d think that every single project they work on is the end of the world and weeks past deadline. Sure, the job can be stressful, but the work environment more than makes up for it. Agencies are filled with cool, young (usually attractive) people who get to hang out in sleek, fun offices and wear t-shirts and joggers. My office has a pool table, foosball table, board games, a fully stocked break room, and most importantly, a full bar, and that’s par for the course. You are not allowed to bitch about working long hours when we all know most of those hours is spent with a drink in your hand, dicking around with your friends.

The Nurse

Out of all of your friends that won’t stop whining, nurses are by far the most in the right to do so. They do arguably more work than doctors and get paid a fraction of the salary. They work nights, weekends, and holidays, and they deal with people like your drunk ass when you hurt yourself doing some dumb shit like face planting down the stairs at the bar. Nurses have earned the right to bitch a lot, yet somehow, they still manage to surpass even that amount. No one you’ve ever met will complain as much as a jaded nurse. Are patients difficult? Yes, but that’s because they’re at the emergency room on one of the worst nights of their life, while you’re just at another day at work.

The heartless shit I’ve heard come out of nurse’s mouths when I worked in the medical industry still shocks me to my core. They’ll shit-talk cancer patients for giving them attitude, call patients idiots for not knowing shit about how their organs work (like any of us without training do), and most of all, rip their coworkers apart behind their backs. If you think high school cattiness was bad, you’ve never seen four middle-aged women in scrubs just absolutely gutting another nurse about her recent divorce in a whispered conversation.

The Server

Server. Waiter. Waitress. Whatever they call themselves, they are the exact opposite of nurses. Their job could not be easier, but they are the number one cause of bitching in the friend group. I worked in the service industry for the past year and I was always constantly amazed by the gratuitous bitching of the people that had the easiest job in the building. Work is dead? They’re bitching to get cut because they’re not making any money. Work is busy? They’re bitching at how much running around they have to do. They complain when they get early shifts, late shifts, doubles, and when they don’t get doubles. Sure, the hours can suck, and the lack of weekend is annoying. But when you’re getting paid anywhere between twenty and forty bucks an hour in tips for a job that requires no training, schooling, or honestly, any specific level of intelligence, you lose your right to complain.

I’m not saying being a server means you’re stupid by any means, but I am saying that you can be stupid and still be a good server. Just smile, don’t be mean to customers, and accept that you’ll probably be yelled at/tipped like shit at times.

The Startup Person

Working at a startup can be both extremely difficult and very stressful, and honestly, they have good reasons to complain. They’re sacrificing consistent hours, good pay, and a clearly-defined job for the dream of making it big. Sure, it sucks now, but it’ll all be worth it when they get bought by Google or Facebook for 100mil and can spend the rest of their lives floating around the Mediterranean on a yacht. It takes balls to sacrifice for a slim chance at a big prize, and I respect that. Because of this, my issue is less with the amount of bitching, but with how they bitch.

I call it “complain-bragging,” and it’s a rampant issue in the startup community. Every startup employee has a drastically inflated ego, and will work that cocky attitude into all their “complaints.” You’ll hear things like “Ugh, the other directors and I have to finalize our presi for our angel investors,” knowing damn well they gave themselves those titles. They’ll whine about acquisitions and mergers like they’re on the doorstep, despite being four guys in a crappy loft talking about making “Uber, but for surfboards,” or some shit. And not a single sentence will come out of their complaining mouths that doesn’t include at least seven jargon buzzwords just to make themselves feel important. Startup people: Your app probably blows, and you’re not the next Steve Jobs. Unless you do get bought, in which case I never doubted you, and please save a spot for me on that yacht.

Image via Shutterstock

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Nick Arcadia

The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice:

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