38 minutes late to work today because I jacked off in the shower this morning. I didn’t even finish. PGP.

It was a good day today, not once did I feel like quitting on the spot. PGP.

“I know it’s past 3:00, but can I still get the lunch size General Tso?” PGP.

I have an entire desk drawer filled with ketchup, mustard, mayo, soy sauce, salt, pepper, and duck sauce packets. PGP.

Ate my bologna sandwich at my desk today with a sign taped to the back of my chair that said “Out to lunch.” PGP.

Having a laptop and the ability to work from home, but still expected to be in the office every day. PGP.

I just played the “maybe I have another offer, maybe I don’t” game with a couple companies, and got one to up my offer. PGPM.

Being afraid to put your actual picture on your PGP account. PGP.

Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V. PGP.

When I get bored at work, I just get pictures of goats off the internet and send the pictures to my coworkers in emails marked “important.” PGP.