Wearing athletic shorts while eating an entire pizza. PGP.

Going to the other Chipotle for fear of becoming a regular at the closer one. PGP.

When your app crashes, it’s God’s way of saying “You’ve been pooping long enough.” PGP.

There’s no way anyone at work could confirm or deny that I was here today. Why am I here? PGP.

Old friends calling. On accident. PGP.

Wishing you received more emails just to have a sense of purpose. PGP.

If I wake up feeling refreshed, it probably means I overslept. PGP.

Today at work I’m wearing my dad’s suit from the 80’s. Last time I wore it was at a theme party.