Had a girl come over late last night. The sex wasn’t worth sacrificing the sleep. PGP

Trying to find a sober picture for your LinkedIn profile. PGP.

Telling the interns to work hard in school so they don’t have to work here after college. PGP.

7 a.m. is the new sleeping in. PGP.

I have no idea how to do my job. Boss said I was doing great. PGP.

The best part of my week was stealing a chair from the conference room. PGP.

I recently added Anheuser-Busch to my stock portfolio. Now my unbridled drinking habit is an investment. PGP.

“Thank you for submitting your application to this position. Please do not respond to this email, as this account is not monitored.” PGP.

I just found a $0.50 cent off two or more Lean Cuisines coupon, so I guess you could say 2015 is off to a great start. PGP.