I’m one “reply all” email away from a mental breakdown. PGP.

I just want someone to help me pay rent and also have sex with. PGP.

Completed a 26.2 episode marathon. Special thanks to Netflix for believing in me. PGP.

Netflix is my homepage. PGP.

When TImes New Roman size 12 looks small to you. PGP.

Broke my New Years Resolution to not use Tinder. Not a single match yet. PGP.

Spent over five hours of company time playing Oregon Trail, making up for all the elementary school sessions that my teachers cut short. PGP.

First thing I do at work in the morning is countdown the hours until lunch. PGP.

Finally got moved to a cube by the window and a bird dropped a six inch streak of shit right in the middle of it. The window washers come once a year. PGP.

I’m on the apple a day health care plan. PGP.