“So no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear. When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.” PGP.

Abusing your “looking busy face” so much at work that it is now your full-time, permanent face. PGP.

I would put pine tar on my neck if it got get me kicked out of work for the day. PGP.

“Please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me.” PGP.

Took an Addy for the first time since college. Haven’t gotten any work done, but have the most organized cubicle in my office and am now friends with every new hire. PGP.

Really thought I’d be making more money at this age. PGP.