Just got a raise. After taxes I am now bringing home an extra $17 every two weeks. PGP.

Pretty sure the homeless man selling newspapers outside my building works harder than I do on a daily basis. PGP.

Caring more about crafting a stellar internet comment than an effective work email. PGP.

Checking your bank account before buying an app. PGP.

Almost got hit by a car walking to work today. Wish I had. PGP.

Fuck. PGP.

Taking personal advantage of Fathers’ Day sales because you need them more than your old man. PGP.

“Show me the law where it says we can’t make interns do wall-sits.” PGP.

I haven’t spoken out loud to a single actual person today. PGP.

Buying everyone donuts so they’ll think that was the reason you were late. PGP.