Visited my college over the weekend. Blew my knee out running from the cops. PGP.

Came back home drunk on a Thursday night to hear, “How was your night honey?” From my mom.

I’m not going to pay my bills until lunchtime because I want to see my bank account with that money for just a little bit longer. PGP.

Been texting back an forth with three women at once today: My mom, my sister, and my boss. PGP

Bring your child to work day. PGP.

I avoid websites I like at night so I can check them out on work time. PGP.

Chasing the mythological creature of “work/life balance”. PGP.

I had to Google what “on fleek” meant.

My team signed Tim Tebow. PGP

Pretty sure I’m getting catfished on Tinder. PGP.