My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

I’m hungover and sunburnt. PGP.

Get me the fuck out of here. PGP.

The next time my coworkers see me I will be sunburnt and hungover. PGP.

This post is the most productive thing I’ve done all day. PGP

Mustered up the courage to ask for a half day today. No one else even showed up.

Describing how things are as the “same old shit” far too often than one should.

“It’s just not my day” describing every day of your life. PGP.

Work, pay bills, drink, repeat.

I’ve had the same condom in my wallet for the past year. PGP.