I’ve been put in charge of Salesforce because I’m “young and better with technology” despite only using it a handful of times.

She liked my LinkedIn post, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.

My boss just called me his “technology guy” because I knew how to insert a picture into powerpoint.

Knowing which stalls have the best wifi.

I’m an incredible interviewer but an awful employee #PGP

Just realized I’m past the “all my friends are getting married” stage and have slid head first into the “all my friends are having babies” stage. PGP.

I either have to propose to her or break up with her. PGP

You don’t realize how capable you are of hating a person until you have to share a cubicle with them.

You haven’t truly lived until you’ve been drunk 3 separate times in the same day. PGP

Rage Against the Copy Machine. PGP.