I’d be a millionaire by now if it weren’t for student loans, bills, car payments, and taxes. PGP.

Wanting to start your own company just because you don’t want to wear pants every day.

Pretending something’s wrong with my computer so I can restart it and not be expected to do anything for a couple minutes.

I wouldn’t be all that upset if I was fired from my reasonably well-paying job. PGP.

Taking sodas home from the break room only to use as chasers. PGP.

Rehearsing your quitting speech during the morning commute. Every morning.

I’ve been faking it for over a year now, when do I start to make it?

The words “Spring Break” no longer excite me. Now they just make me dread the possibility of having a daughter. #PGP

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” PGP

Oil change, haircut, or Chipotle. Pick two. PGP.