Meticulously reading the Employee Labor Laws poster in the break room in hopes of finding a violation I can report. PGP

I’d love to quit, but if I can get them to fire me, I get severance and unemployment. PGP.

Using your rest time between sets at the gym to text about where you’re going for drinks after.

Being unable to determine whether she’s nice or flirting when in the office and afraid of getting referred to HR for trying.

Telling the girls in the bar you’re 21, and telling clients you’re 29.

I wish skipping work was as simple as skipping class.

Finding out years later that your parents were right. About everything. PGP

The paradox of days passing very slowly, but the months passing all too fast.

There’s only free food in the office when I’m attempting to go on a diet.