Seriously neglecting routine auto maintenance.

“Your Chase statement is available online” aka look low many times you ate Chipotle this month

“Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far far away from here.”

“You hear about that missing plane?”

“Who do you have winning the tourney?”

Convincing yourself you’re only single because you swiped the wrong way on Tinder that one time. PGP.

If IT blocks my March Madness live feed, I am out of here for good.

Boss caught on to my “bathroom breaks” to check scores. #PGP

Having your dreams of a billion dollar bracket crushed before noon. PGP.

Still having to explain to your parents what your friends from college are doing now. PGP