that daily, 4:30 pm “I’ll be productive tomorrow” thought

Legit job title, glorified assistant duties. PGP

Working 60 hours in 4 days to make up for the work you miss taking a day off.

Submitting TFM posts when you’re 34 and married. PGP.

Figuring out when you passed out by looking at your Fitbit stats. PGP.

My bank account sits at -$13.47. I am worth negative one medium, no topping pizza. PGP.

Everyone in my company uses stand up desks. PGP.

I’m seriously considering moving in with a girl I’m not that interested in just so I can save 50% on rent. PGP.

Changing girls as often as your underwear. TFM. Changing girls as often as your oil. PGP.

Slowly deleting your social media accounts due to their triviality. PGP.