My undergrad friends think I’m boring, and my postgrad friends think I’m immature. PGP.

I spent a total of about 53 seconds outside today. PGP.

1: “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.” 2: “Not here.” PGP.

Wedding reception koozies slowly replacing your college koozies. PGP.

Graduate Saturday, start work Monday. PGP.

Sacrificing now to be successful later. PGP.

My office is so cold, I look forward to making copies to feel the warmth of the paper. PGP.

May 5th used to be about tequila and day drinking. Now it just means four more days till Friday. PGP.

My ex-girlfriend changed her Netflix password. PGP.

Seriously considering failing the company’s drug test on purpose. PGP.