Being jealous of the potential Ebola patients who are quarantined at home for 21 days. PGP.

Getting a rejection letter four minutes after applying for a job. PGP.

When you say “EOD,” do you mean end of YOUR day or MY day? Because I’m checked out by 3 o’clock. PGP.

That feeling of panic that hits when someone says your name on a conference call. PGP.

Big middle finger to whoever just heated up fish in the kitchen microwave. PGP.

I’m writing the code for the program that will automate my job. What is job security?

Handing in your two week notice as an April Fools’ joke and then actually quitting when you realize how good it feels. PGP.

Sizing up your boss in meetings, wondering if you could take him in a fight.

Still buying and loving Lunchables. PGP.

I’d love to quit, but if I can get them to fire me, I get severance and unemployment. PGP.