I just yelled at a high schooler for hitting my car with a football. PGP.

My work wife is almost triple my age. PGP.

How the fuck is it only Monday?

Woke up 20 minutes before my alarm feeling refreshed and ready for the day. Decided to “shut my eyes for a second” and I woke up to my alarm blaring, feeling like I had pulled an all nighter.

I go on more interviews than dates.

What did people do before excel?

“It’s in the company handbook. You read it, right?” PGP.

Sincerely being too old for this shit. PGP.