The only time I ever wash my hands after going to the bathroom is when someone else is there. Even then, I pull a Costanza and just run some water. PGP.

1: “I work an 8-5.” 2: “You mean 9-5?” 1: “No. That’s a figment of your young imagination.” PGP.

1: “What’s your day looking like today?” 2: “Busy.” PGP.

Raging boner in dress pants. PGP.

Being stuck between a rock (smelly lady) and a hard place (annoying guy) all day. PGP.

Awkwardly waiting in line at the water cooler as the office fitness freak fills up her 30 gallon water bottle. PGP.

All work and no play driving Jack Torrance to try and kill his family. PGP.

The office Keurig broke which means I’m getting literally nothing done today. PGP.

Moving the Snapchat text area to strategically block out your double chin. PGP.

My coworkers always talk about how cool the guy that had my job before me was. PGP.