Perfecting the suburban neighbor wave. PGP.

Chasing the mythological creature of “work/life balance”. PGP.

I’m sick on a Monday. Not a single coworker believes that I’m not just hungover. #PGP

If I can just make it to lunch, I’ll probably make it through the rest of the day. PGP.

Wedding I went to ended up being a cash bar.

Received a congratulatory email for a promotion in error.

It’s not that I’m antisocial, it’s just that I don’t give a fuck anymore. PGP.

I just want someone to help me pay rent and also have sex with. PGP.

The VP of our division just sent me a happy birthday email. I don’t like that he knows my name now. PGP.

“My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.” -Patrick Bateman. PGP.