I literally do not know how to ask for days off.

Highlight of my day was bringing up my groceries in one trip. PGP

IT thought it would be funny to block ESPN for April Fools’ Day. PGP.

Asked a coworker how his weekend was: “Still single. Still poor.” PGP.

I don’t consider myself a morning person, I’m more of a happy hour person.

These girls on linkedin are hot. PGP

April fools is just a reminder that my life as a whole is a joke.

Referencing an assistant that you don’t have to people outside of your office. PGP.

Googling “what to write in a baby shower card.”

Telling coworkers that you’ll have drinks with them later tonight, then hoping and praying that they decide against going out.