Google is the only one outside of those with familial obligations that wished me a happy birthday. PGP.

My cubical mate thinks that speaker phone is the only way to use the phone. PGP.

My parents got me a $100 gift card to the local grocery store and I’ve never been more grateful in my life. PGP.

It was a tough decision, but I am now moving my official bed time from 11 to 10. PGP.

Each day I relate more and more to Phil Dunphy. PGP.

1: “So what are you planning to do with your Christmas bonus?” 2: “Pay bills, probably.” PGP.

Christmas party? Nope. Christmas Bonus? Nope. We don’t even get a Jelly of the Month club membership here. PGP.

I haven’t had actual paper currency in my wallet in weeks. PGP.

Going from living in a house filled with 30 of your best friends to a one bedroom apartment alone. PGP.

My boss loves me. My manager hates me. PGP.