“Let’s discuss this offline.”

After adding a picture to my LinkedIn profile, I woke up to 4 requests to connect, all guys. One was at 2:15am from a guy I went on a date with 2 years ago. Professional Networking? PGP.

The office Christmas party is on a Thursday.

Staff meeting Monday’s. PGP

Today I witnessed some savage animal walk into the stall with a full mug of coffee and proceed to shart violently. PGP.

Our vp of research forgot to close his eHarmony tab before he shared his screen on a company wide video conference

I bought the extended warranty. PGP.

Guac doesn’t cost extra on the corporate Amex. PGPM.

I would be drinking right now if I was still in school.

One partner just referred to a client as “skanky” and the other partner responded, “did you know that’s a dance, the skanky leg?” PGP.