“Is it on Netflix?”

All my college friends are still single and booze hounds. I’m married and get drunk of with a 6 pack. PGP

Office summer party is tomorrow. I don’t think I can take an extra 3+ hours of pretending to like these people. PGP.

Paying rent before your friend’s bachelor party because you don’t trust yourself. PGP.

Opened up a Roth IRA today. Childhood officially dead.

I just suggested fantasy football as a team building exercise.

My pre-game level of drinking from college can get me hammered now. PGP.

My boss thinks he’s funny. PGP

I can’t get a job, because I don’t have experience, because I can’t get a job. PGP.

I’m jealous of the swag the interns got.