Why does Tinder still have a “feels like spam” option? It’s always fucking spam. PGP.

I’ve been at the company for almost a year now. This will have been my longest relationship

My Tinder hook up asked me to delete Tinder.PGP

Signing birthday cards for people you’ve never even heard of. PGP.

I lost my favorite pen. In worse news, I have a favorite pen. PGP

I keep saying I have doctor’s appointments when really I’m going on interviews. I think my boss thinks I’m dying. PGP.

Heard a co-worker snoring in the bathroom stall 2 days in a row now. PGP

Forgetting the attachment. PGP.

Wearing golf pants to work because you are to lazy to go to the dry cleaners….PGP

Holy shit, I can’t do this for the rest of my life…PGP.