Went hiking on Saturday, still felt sore Wednesday. PGP.

“Hey I have to drop off this call to run to another meeting.” *Sprints to the bathroom before defecating everywhere* PGP.

“So… what are we?” PGP.

I’m the only person on my team without a marriage, house, or kids. PGP.

“Let me tie up a few loose ends and get back to you.”

Can’t wait until I become one of these people whose whole job seems to be dropping by each office and asking its occupant “Do you have a minute?” PGP.

When I get home from work I use my work laptop to watch Hulu so I appear “online” after hours. PGPM.

“You surpassed your annual billable hours goal by 35%, so I gave you a performance rating of ‘Meets Expectations’.” PGP.

Sent a follow-up email to a recruiter from an interview last week. Spelled their name wrong.

Girls didn’t look like that when I was in college. PGP