The pressure of bringing a +1 to a company Christmas party is worse than your grandmother telling you how she’ll die before she ever gets grandkids.

Pre-gaming has become acceptable for any activity. PGP.

Today I witnessed some savage animal walk into the stall with a full mug of coffee and proceed to shart violently. PGP.

Won “employee of the year” yet my annual review states my performance “met expectations”. #pgp

I caused a toilet to overflow in my floor’s bathroom and everyone knows it. PGP.

My mom suggested that I get a tinder. PGP.

I worked late tonight. Not because I was busy, but just because I really had nothing else to do. PGP.

Someone stuck a pube to the wall above the urinal and no one has cleaned it in over a week. PGP.

I have trouble believing it’s pure coincidence that my coworkers seem to only ask me to go to lunch when I have my lunch box visible on my desk. PGP.

Checking to see if the person tailgating you on the way to work has the company parking pass before flipping them off. PGP.