I don’t know who Todd is and I’m too prideful to ask in the comment section at this point. PGP.

Went down a floor in my office building to throw up this morning so my co-workers don’t think I’m a degenerate. PGP.

Having a surplus of PTO and a shortage of funds to do anything with it. PGP.

Hungover right now because I got too drunk while fixing things around the house yesterday. PGP.

Just put $100 I won from horse betting into my savings account and it may be the most responsible decision I’ll make all year. PGP.

Hesitant to work out or break a dry spell because you know your muscles will be sore for the next week. PGP.

Just got my first raise at work in almost 2 years. I’m still laughably underpaid. PGP.

“If it’s not in Salesforce, it didn’t happen.” PGP.

Your relationship eerily mirroring that of Todd and Girl’s. PGP.

Wife ordered me a Romphim. PGP.