The last two girls I have been with have gotten engaged to the guy after me. PGP.

Just got a text from the office manager saying we are opening the office late due to the snow. I was already here. PGP.

I feel hungover every morning. I drink heavily about twice a week. PGP

I officially have life insurance. PGP

Forget the freshman fifteen, the cubicle fifteen is real. PGP.

When buying new jeans is easier than losing the weight. PGP