My company put a block on Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube over the weekend. At least they left me. PGP.

My coworker, who is atleast 20 years older than me, just invited me to a “Galentine’s Day Dinner Party.” PGP.

“Happy Friday, someone in your call center gave the building bed bugs” PGP.

Three months in at the new job; already looking elsewhere. PGP.

Asked my new job to let me start in January so I could hold out for a Christmas bonus from job I was going to leave…… we only got a bucket of popcorn. PGP.

Resolved a major crisis by coordinating across multiple teams, only to be chewed out by my manager for not telling her what I was doing. PGP.

Got deployed, wife threw out all my Frat Tees. PGP

6/6 getting a kiss on the first date. 0/6 in securing a second date. PGP.