Since becoming a dad, I’ve become so out of touch with fashion I don’t think Johnny D’s clothes look that bad. PGP.

Fantasy football scouting has officially taken over my lunch break. PGP.

Setting your alarm at the bar. PGP.

The hand bra picture in the “Temps” ad making me really self-conscious about reading this site at the office. PGP.

My boss forgot to send my offer letter to HR after I started four weeks ago. I don’t have health insurance and I threw out my back. PGP.

Passive aggressive emails about ice tray and paper towel usage. PGP.

“I need to get my steps in.” PGP.

Whoever said, “Today is the first day of the rest of you life” never worked in corporate America. PGP.

“Hey I have to drop off this call to run to another meeting.” *Sprints to the bathroom before defecating everywhere* PGP.

Wrinkle free pants got wrinkled. PGP.