Top Gun turned 30 today. RIP Goose.

Forgot I had lowered my chair and sat on my balls. PGP.

Got to try out some new cleaning products over the weekend.

I think my work husband is jealous of my other work husband.

Two days at TPC. Two weeks hungover. PGP.

My friend just had a kid on purpose. PGP.

Still hungover from the Kentucky Derby. PGP.

One of my few sane coworkers gave her two weeks today. I’m like, “please don’t leave me here with all these assholes”. PGP.

Accepted a job offer this morning and already my productivity at my current job has plummeted. Haven’t even given notice yet.

My first Vegas trip is next week. It’s a business trip. PGP.