There aren’t nearly as many “illions” in my bank account as I thought there would be at this point in my life. PGP.

Office building catered Panera for breakfast. PGPowerMove.

Walked in on one of the notoriously difficult partners in the office pooping. He now goes out of his way to be nice to me. PGPowermove.

I’ve been hungover while being ghosted on the past two days. This is what mental death feels like.

Requested PTO to take off last Thursday. The request is still pending. I took off last Thursday regardless. PGPM.

Quadruple bogied my quarterly sales review. Pgp.

Only person on my floor who can physically put in a new water jug on the cooler. PGP

Got a 2 out of 3 on my performance exam for attendance. I haven’t missed a day of work since 2014. PGP.

I have perfected the art of “looking busy.” PGP.

My boss thinks I’m “too fast with computers” to do my job well. PGP.