The highlight of my week has been that my boss hasn’t talked to me yet. PGP

Using your work phone for spotify so you don’t max out your personal data plan. PGPowerMove.

Keeping a Facebook account exclusively for making myself feel a little better by looking at how my high school classmates turned out. PGP.

Was not mentally prepared to see a high school Class of 2020 shirt today.

Perfecting your fake laugh. PGP

Grotesquely over exaggerating your job title to the waitress at The United Airlines Club when she asks what you do for a living. PGP

My pre-game level of drinking from college can get me hammered now. PGP.

My boss thinks he’s funny. PGP

I can’t get a job, because I don’t have experience, because I can’t get a job. PGP.

Guy in the office just walked in and said whos ready for Monday FUNday. I died inside PGP