Opening up projects that were finished months ago just to make it look like you are doing something. PGP

James Harden gets 200 million from Adidas and I can’t even get a key card to park in the work garage.

My work spouse is starting to send me good morning texts. PGP

The excitement of a new Tinder match, followed by the disappointment of it not being human. PGP

Everyone’s first question when getting an invite to the wedding “Open bar?” PGP

That moment of panic walking into work wearing jeans and you’re not sure if it’s Friday or Thursday. PGP.

I don’t have a work spouse. PGP.

Simultaneously saying and then not responding to “how’s it going”

The last fifteen minutes of the work day seeming to take longer then your whole weekend. PGP

On day 3 of wearing the same pair of dress pants. People have noticed. I don’t care.