My last day at my current job is Wednesday. I have nothing to do until then. PGP.

Ignoring the call on the first ring so my boss thinks I’m actually on the phone with someone.

My work wife just emailed me asking me why I haven’t come into the office yet. PGP.

Every Monday morning: “Is your Outlook frozen?” #PGP

I paid the wedding DJ $20 to play “Shout” this weekend. PGP.

One partner just referred to a client as “skanky” and the other partner responded, “did you know that’s a dance, the skanky leg?” PGP.

“Sounds good.” PGP.

If I have to hear one more “were you really sick or just hungover?” joke I swear to god. PGP.

A younger co-worker finally came through and brought me weed.

“Where are we at on this?” PGP.