The pressure of bringing a +1 to a company Christmas party is worse than your grandmother telling you how she’ll die before she ever gets grandkids.

Pre-gaming has become acceptable for any activity. PGP.

Everyone please stop endorsing me for “social media” on LinkedIn. PGP.

Forecast reports. PGP

Today I witnessed some savage animal walk into the stall with a full mug of coffee and proceed to shart violently. PGP.

Won “employee of the year” yet my annual review states my performance “met expectations”. #pgp

I caused a toilet to overflow in my floor’s bathroom and everyone knows it. PGP.

I got excited about Black Friday deals, and then remembered I have to work Black Friday.

People I haven’t talked to in over 15 years giving me LinkedIn endorsements. PGP.

First egg nog cocktail of the season. PGP.