Turned down a job offer because my current company has too much work to do and “needs” me. PGP.

There’s a 95 percent chance I will be sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall when the rapture happens. PGP

My only Tinder match for the week has been the Bud Light Down for Whatever profile. PGP

Getting a job rejection email from a baby boomer who has a high school diploma. PGP.

Your alma mater sending an email about saving for your child’s college fund when you graduated last year and are single.

Getting offers for vacations you’ll never be able to afford

Still holding out hope that I’m a late bloomer. PGP.

Hangover anxiety so bad you think you might actually die

Blacked out last weekend and woke up on Sunday with a Match.com account. It was $40. #PGP

Never realized the extent of my immaturity until I attended today’s sexual misconduct seminar. PGP.