I’ve been at work for an hour and I have yet to do anything remotely productive.

My leg fell asleep on the toilet and now I’m limping around the office.

“So…how’s your bracket?”

Just received a reminder from HR on the company’s streaming policy.

Dropping $170 on a first date only to get dumped after the second date.

Being in the closet about still playing video games.

Get to work. Get coffee. Start working. Forget about coffee. Remember coffee. It’s cold.

The subtle fist pump after opening the stall door and seeing a freshly cleaned toilet.