“Fill out your bracket yet?”

Being so out of shape you can drink a 40 faster than you can run a 40. PGP

My cholesterol is higher than my credit score. PGP.***If you dont like that one. Try the one below***My credit score isn,t as high as my blood pressure. PGP.

Your 60 year old co-worker walking up, giving you a fist bump, and walking away #PGP

Not going to happy hour on Wednesday because you plan to go out on Saturday.

Receiving calls about donating to the university even though you haven’t finished paying them back for when you attended. PGP

Using the “It will evaporate” technique on spills including liquids that aren’t water. PGP.

Trying to think of the most politically correct way to say something. PGP.

I wear headphones all day at work, partially because I enjoy listening to music, but mostly because I can’t stand the sound of my coworker’s voice.

Spending the last hour scrambling to make your day look productive. PGP