1: “How’s it going?” 2: “It’s going.” PGP.

Not staying up to see the moon last night because you wouldn’t have been able to function at work today. PGP.

Your couch and coffee table doubling as your dinner table and “home office.” PGP.

“It’s cold in here today.” -Everyone. PGP.

90% of my day is spent avoiding emails and pretending I’m too busy to answer the phone. PGP.

I have cumulatively been on hold for over 2 hours today. It will take at least a week to get the elevator music out of my head. PGP.

I see how many times I can say “meow” on my daily conference call without anyone noticing. My record is 3. PGP.

My to-do list is finished by 2:00pm every single day. After that it’s all smoke and mirrors. PGP.

Always blaming the new guy. PGP.