Gameday weddings. PGP.

If I see the hashtag #LoveMyJob one more time I am going to flip out. PGP.

Not going to grad school because I just spent 17 fucking years in school. PGP.

All the blame and none of the credit. PGP.

The combined record of my college team, my pro team, and my two fantasy football teams: 1-12. PGP.

No amount of water can fix this Adderall and coffee induced cotton mouth. PGP.

When you’re still paying the price for going out on Friday the following Tuesday. PGP.

My best friend just bought a house. I just bought a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with change. PGP.

They forgot to up-charge me for guac today. I feel like I just won the lottery. PGP.

Going on a “day date” at the zoo instead of tailgating. PGP.