Sweating through my suit. PGP

Started a new job today. I’m impressed with both the quality of the restrooms and my proximity to the restrooms.

I had to choke down half a cup of cold coffee because I can’t afford to waste it.

Having a silent freak out in your cube after one too many cups of coffee. PGP.

Boss took the day off. I’m not doing shit today. PGPM.

I got hit on by a 65-year-old man and all I could think was what a great business contact he could be. PGP.

Inner voice is saying, “Get fucked.” Outer voice is saying, “Yeah, I’ll come in this weekend to help.” PGP.

Needing two hands to count LinkedIn connections who are also former hookups

Someone viewing my profile on LinkedIn is more exciting than a match on Tinder. PGP.

Wearing noise-canceling headphones do nothing to stop coworkers from bothering me. PGP