Actually thinking of cutting back on my drinking. PGP.

My friends are all getting engaged. I’m still puking on street corners. PGP.

It’s almost “drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark” season. PGP.

This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.

Until recently, I thought Ariana Grande was a font in Microsoft Office. PGP.

Netflix autopay just overdrafted my checking account. PGP.

I test my desk at least once a day to see if I could actually flip it when I eventually rage quit this job. PGP.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. PGP.

I don’t have anything witty to say, I just really hate my job. PGP.