The Sunday Scaries is the anxiety and feeling of dread that sets in on Sunday nights with the impending return to the office, school, or work.
Sitting at a picnic table at a dinner party one fall, someone mentioned to a stranger that I had a website that I ran called “Sunday Scaries.” Justifiably wondering what the hell the website was, and furthermore what the Sunday Scaries were, she quizzed me for a few minutes in front of about a dozen other people that attended the dinner. Everything was going fine until I said something to the ring of, “Have you ever had your thoughts kind of scream at you?” Instantly, she looked at me like I was the type of person that would exchange letters with Charles Manson.
That night, I learned a couple things: picnic tables aren’t the safe zones you’d think they’d be, and you have to be fairly careful when you’re explaining the Sunday Scaries to people who don’t actually get the Sunday Scaries.
To Your Best Friend
“I didn’t have them until you posted that fucking photo on Instagram where I’m looking like an idiot on the dancefloor. Now I’m just sitting here in bed wondering who saw the photo, who saw me look at that stupid last night, and whether or not anyone likes me. Thanks, man. Thanks a lot.
Not to mention, you made me buy that round of shots that triggered my ‘Track Your Spending’ alert on my credit card. I can barely make rent this month let alone get you drunk every night on my tab.
I’m never going out again. I’m never going anywhere in life. Everyone hates me.”
To Your Boss Who You’re Deathly Afraid Of
“You know that sinking feeling when you’re nervous you could have missed an important client call or email when you’re busy exercising or hiking over the weekend? That’s what they’re like, you know? I just wish I could spend as much time on the job as I’d really like to, but life gets in the way sometimes.”
To Your Work Spouse
“Did I smell like booze when I came in this morning? We drank and watched football all day yesterday and I don’t feel like I got THAT drunk, but I also feel awful right now so I’m just wondering. I barely slept all of last night because I just felt all around terrible. You’d tell me if people were saying things about me, right?”
To Your Parents Who You Fear Think You’re Underachieving
“I’m just making ends meet right now. I’ve been applying to jobs and hopefully I’ll hear back next week about a company I was really taken by. At the end of the day, I just want to love what I do and make more money than I make currently. It’s all just a little unnerving and when I sit around all Sunday updating my resume and cover letter, I just get a bit anxious.”
To Someone You’ve Been “Talking To”
“I don’t know, sometimes on Sundays I just get bummed that the weekend is over. I always have such a great time with my friends that the thought of going back to work just weighs on me a little bit. Sometimes I just think about how nice it would be to have someone with me to enjoy my nights with.”
To Someone You Just Met That You Don’t Want Thinking You’re A Psycho
“Oh, I don’t even know. It’s something my weird friend gets every Sunday night. I think it has something to do with drinking or his job or something. I honestly have no idea. Why? Who said something about them to you?”
To Your Uncle Who You Think May Or May Not Have Gotten The Scaries In The Early ’70s
“You used to get after it. Did you ever have any of those hangovers where you were all like, ‘Whoa, I feel terrible and it’s 10 p.m.’ or ‘Ugh, I’m so hungover and I hate myself.’? No? Yeah, me neither. My friend told me he had that type of hangover all the time and I was all like, ‘Whoa, dude, you need to chill.'”
To Someone That Doesn’t Drink
“Okay, let’s just move on.” .
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