Being able to lip sync your coworkers’ usual responses to your morning greetings as you walk away. PGP.

Sprained my ankle. Turns out everyone I work with is a doctor. PGP.

Post-grad walk of shame- when you spend too much time on your phone when you’re in the crapper and have to walk back to your cube with one or more of your legs asleep. This happens to me a few times a week. PGP.

My boss saw this push notification on my phone: “Your saved job ____ is about to expire. Don’t wait to apply!” PGP.

Hit a deer. I’m more upset about the fact that I am a week behind on podcasts because my rental doesn’t have Bluetooth than I am about the actual damage to the car. PGP.

Last week at my job, all desire to even act like I’m trying is gone. PGP.

The woman next to me brought fucking spaghettios and is eating them at 8 a.m. I’m going to throw up. PGP.

When Urban Dictionary starts to become one of your most frequently visited websites. PGP.

I shit my pants at work today. PGP.

Wife won’t let me buy a recliner. PGP.

Jealous of high school kids studying for their AP exams at Starbucks while working remotely. PGP.

Workin’ hard but it’s hardly workin’. PGP.