Got to use my new umbrella for the first time today…so I’ve got that going for me. PGP.

I’m going to cut the next person that says, “Welcome to the real world!” PGP.

“Late night, come home. Work sucks, I know.” PGP.

Giving a shit about your lawn. PGP.

Buying the family-sized bag for yourself. PGP.

There are tens of thousands of people running 26.2 miles today. I can barely make it up two flights of stairs without needing to catch my breath. PGP.

Taking a vacation day and spending 3/4 of it on your couch watching HGTV. PGP.

Leaving your voicemail full so you don’t have to call people back. PGP.

I’m more secretive checking my phone during work hours than I was in middle school. PGP.

A coworker walking by your cubicle as you take a selfie. PGP.

Pretty sure the cleaning ladies stole my earphones last night. PGP.

Leaving the last bit of your lunch unfinished and in front of you so when coworkers come over to talk they think they’re interrupting. PGP.