1: “So what are you working on right now?” 2: “Stuff.” PGP.

My manager signs me up for meetings she doesn’t want to attend. I have no idea what the hell these meetings are about. PGP.

Trying to look busy for the boss that told you there is nothing for you to do today. PGP.

The uncanny ability to turn a small task into a day-long project. PGP.

Wearing golf pants to work has been the highlight of my week. PGP.

Coworker signed an email with “Have a productive day!” and I just wanted to respond “Go fuck yourself!” PGP.

Put up as many motivational posters you want, I will be working at the same pace. PGP.

Working out during lunch, then sweating for the next five hours. PGP.

1: “When is the next three day weekend?” 2: “Late May.” 1: “Shit.” PGP.

Walking around with a notepad to look busy. PGP.

1: “Let’s circle back and touch base on Monday to get these deliverables in to the client by COB. Can you set up a conference call?” 2: “Fuck you.” PGP.

They switch the office door code every 2 hours. PGP.